Have I Fallen Out of Love?
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Love. This word is such a loaded word with so many different emotions attached to it. This word is used and abused in so many different ways. “Love” is what a person feels towards their grandparents. “Love” is what a mother feels towards her new born baby. “Love” is what people feel towards their beloved pets. “Love” is what the 17 year old boy feels for his girlfriend. “Love” is what a husband and wife of 40 years feel for each other. “Love” is what is often done when emotions run high on prom night. “Love” is what is said as a customary “goodbye” between a married couple. “Love” is the feeling that is had when someone really appreciates a product or service.
“Love” is one of the most abused and misused words in the English language. The word “Love” is used in an empty and hollow way as often as it is used in a heartfelt, sincere way. While the word “love” is used in many different ways, most people feel that it is a mysterious emotion for which one has no control over. Most feel that either they love someone or they don’t. Most feel that they can “fall in love” with someone and that they can just as easily one day fall “out of love” with the same person. Is love a mysterious emotion for which we have no control over or do we choose how we love and who we love? What does the Bible say about “love”?
-Jesus commanded His disciples to love one another (John 13:34; 15:12, 17).
-Paul told Christians to love one another (Romans 13:8; 1 Thes 4:9)
-Peter told Christians to love one another (1 Peter 1:22)
-John told Christians six different times to love one another (1 Jn 3:11; 23; 4:7, 11, 12, 2 Jn 5)If love is a command, then it is something for which we can either choose to do or not to do. We can in obedience to God’s commands choose to love other Christians as we should. This doesn’t happen by accident or without intention. Proper love for one another as Christians is a choice that we are to make. In a similar way, we choose to love God (Mark 12:30; Matthew 22:37; John 14:15). Yet this is not where the command to love ends in the Bible. Love your neighbor (Matt 5:43; 19:19; Mk 12:31; Ro 13:9; Gal 5:14). Love your enemies (Mt 5:44; Luke 6:35). The Bible commands us to love God, other Christians, those we come in contact with (neighbors), and even our enemies. We don’t often involuntarily “fall in love” towards our enemies. This love towards our enemies is a conscious choice we make in our minds to sincerely feel correctly towards our enemies.
So what about romantic love? Is it a choice or a decision? Do we “fall in love” with the one we marry or is it a choice? Husbands are commanded to love their wives (Eph 5:25, 28, Col 3:19). Wives are commanded to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). They are actually commanded and taught to love. Therefore even romantic love is a choice. We choose who we love...and who we don’t. If we fall out of love, then we have chosen to fall out of love.Choose to love. Choose to love as God loves you. Choose to love God, other Christians, all you come in contact with, and even your enemies. Choose to love your spouse. Choose to love your spouse even when things are difficult or trying. Choose to love your spouse when they are “loveable” and when they are putting you through trials. Never allow yourself to fall out of love. Falling out of love is a concept that Satan has invented to trick us into believing that we have no choice over who we love. Take control of your mind and your heart. Choose to love and to love completely!
